Corvette Red

Tonight I allowed myself 1/2 hour to paint my nails and watch TV with no other "projects" sneaking their way into my evening. This may not sound like a big deal but my time for myself generally includes cleaning up my house, laundry, unpacking boxes from my mom's house, you get the picture... So, to sit and paint my nails was a nice treat. I chose Corvette Red because it is such a sexy color so vibrant and FULL OF LIFE. That's what I am now surrounded by...LIFE. Ever since my mom passed away I have felt like I'm in a fog. Things seem surreal and are moving very fast all around me while I'm standing still in the middle of it all unable to join in. I have been absolutely focused on death and sickness for the past 9 months that I feel like I have forgotten how to live. I have found that I haven't been putting much effort into my appearance when usually I am pretty on top of when my next haircut should be and trying to leave myself plenty of time in the morning to get "ready for the day". Truth be told, I'm just too tired and distracted to make that extra effort. Admittedly, I have never been a natural beauty kind of girl and I'm not sure that is a bad thing, it's just that I feel the most confident when I'm all dolled up! Even when I'm sick I still try to put makeup on and do my hair because it actually makes me feel better. I haven't seen the point lately but I've been feeling frumpy and sluggish so I have decided that it's time to step up the game a bit and spend a little more effort if just to feel better about myself. My girlfriend, Rachel has been making some very large changes in her life (Yippee!) which include making the choice to stay at home with her beautiful baby son, and also to get dreads (which she has wanted for years but has been too afraid to do it)! I admire her for doing what she wants to do despite what others may think and have already expressed to her. It's so empowering to have so many wonderful girlfriends that know what is right for themselves and their families and they DO IT! So often I have ideas but I lack the bravery to make it happen or I let others shoot me down immediately. So I guess that's another reason why Corvette Red just seemed like the perfect color for tonight. It's not timid. It's a color that seems wild and crazy and for the first time in a long time that is the Kalle that I want to get back because that is definitely who I used to be. I'm tired of being Vanilla. I'm tired of being light pink. I understand now that there was a good reason my mom chose bright and colorful cowgirl boots...it was a reflection of who she was. I guess I'm looking to find who I am again. Usually when I'm at a crossroads like this, I cut my hair off. I've been trying to grow it long but I've had to really hold myself back from going short, short again. I'm open to your thoughts though! My sisters tell me their opinions which I love (mostly) and very much welcome your opinions too! I'm also open to hair color. I think I've done nearly everything so I'm open to trying new things there as well...

I realized the second I titled this post that this wouldn't be an entry for the guy-folk. However, I suspect there are many of you ladies that can relate to my ramble.

Anyhow, I certainly didn't mean to go on so long about this!

I also wanted to talk about my girlies! Here's the update:

ELLIOT: (aka Ellie Bell, Ellie, El, Honey Bunny, Lovey, Baby, Sweetie Pea)
She is teething now (I forgot how "fun" that can be!) Sigh! Poor little girl goes from having so much pain with her colic and acid reflux now to teething! She must think that all life is is pain! She is doing lots of drooling, biting on anything that she can fit in her mouth, coughing, difficulties in nursing, and not sleeping very well. It is her two bottom teeth and I guess Tony and I should take bets as to which one will pop up first (we look for any opportunity to gamble!).
Other than teething, she is the sweetest most good natured baby! She is so cheery and if you so much as make eye contact with her you will most likely get a huge smile (at least until the Stranger Anxiety hits...any day now...). She is absolutely fascinated with her big sister and can't take her eyes off of her! It actually is getting to the point where I can hardly nurse Ellie if Emerson is in the same room because she is so distracted! Tonight at dinner I used Elliot's big sister interest to my advantage. Emerson like usual, wasn't wanting to eat her dinner. I had Ellie up on the table in her Bumbo seat (this weird rubbery/foam moldy infant seat that is AWESOME) and she was like usually watching Emerson's every move and Em was loving the attention. So I told Emerson, "Ellie is watching you to learn how to eat food. Can you show her how big girls eat?" That's all it took! Before I knew it Em's dinner was gone and Ellie was still watching her and drooling. I was a happy mama! I realize that will probably only work maybe a couple more times until I have to think up a new trick but that's ok.
Elliot is getting so close to rolling over. She is wanting to but hasn't quite figured it out. Soon...
She gets really frustrated when a toy doesn't fit fully into her mouth. She actually can get so frustrated that it turns to anger and she starts fussing. It's really cute and I have to pry her little fingers off of whatever toy she wants to devour and focus her attention elsewhere just to get her to calm down!
She is so wonderful and I just love kissing and loving on her. I love that she immediately stops crying when I enter her room in the middle of the night and gives me the biggest smile ever. She is SOOOOO worth getting out of a warm bed for!

EMERSON: (aka Emmy, Emma, Honey, Special Girl, Em, Emmy M, Emmy Mac.)
Well Miss Em may be more on the dainty side for her age (still wearing some 18 month clothes) but she makes up for it with her wonderful personality! She is so smart and funny (at least we think so!). She tries to joke with us and her favorite thing to joke about is where people live. For example, when we are driving to Grandma and Grandpa's house, she will try to pick out their house by asking "Is it that one? Is it that one? Does Grandpa live in a car? Does Grandpa live in a tree?" Then she will laugh. It cracks me up every time. I was a little stumped today however when she out of the blue asked if Mimi lives in a tree. I had to stop and think about that one for a moment because, well, who knows! I decided not to get that deep with my 2 1/2 year old and I just said "Mimi doesn't live in a tree you silly girl!".

We are still going through some eating challenges (nothing that we are overly concerned about) but meal time is definitely the most challenging because a person can only have "chicky nuggets" so much before you start sprouting feathers. At lunch today she wasn't eating much and we were listening to "boogie music" and one of her favorite songs came on and she wanted to dance so I told her she could dance to just that song and then she would have to come back and eat some more soup. I think she liked that arrangement because she actually did just that. I guess I just have to give a little in order to get a little. Plus, when a girl has to dance, a girl has to dance!

Another challenge (nothing new) is tantrums. We have been dealing with this since she was just over a year old but I think we are making baby steps in handling those. Her frustration outlet seems to be spitting and NOTHING drives me more mad than THAT. So, last night during story time I read her a book about tantrums and it talked about punching a pillow whenever you have anger that you don't know what to do with. As an example, I paused in my reading, took my pillow and let loose. It was surprisingly refreshing to beat the crap out of my pillow. Emmy was AMAZED that we could do that and took to it with vigor. Her and I spent 5 minutes just beating up our pillows and laughing because we looked so funny doing it and it felt so darn good! I then gave her scenarios to really drive the point home;
"Emmy, if mama tells you that it's time for bath but you don't want to take a bath and you feel really mad, do you spit?" She at first shook her head "yes" but she quickly got it. "NO!" I tell her, "you can hit your pillow as many times as you want instead to feel better and then you tell mommy that you feel mad that you have to take a bath". I gave her other scenarios as well and we beat up our pillows each time just to really drive the point home. It was a good lesson (I thought)! I may take a pillow with me to work! =)

Other than that, Emerson is such a fun and spirited little girl. I adore being with her. She is so full of energy and it's incredible listening to her talk and how she interprets the world. Her and I had a tea party yesterday (just my excuse to have a cup) and Emmy mimicked my every move. It was so cute.

Potty training is going slowly (as far as I'm concerned!). I've had to up the reward from one M&M or Skittle to a Hersey's Kiss. THAT she's excited about. She went on the toilet three times today once she knew what she could get! I'm just very ready to have one child out of diapers and I think it needs to be Emmy. =)

Well, it is super late and my goal of going to bed at 10 tonight didn't exactly happen... Oh well.

I start back to work part time on Tuesday which I am excited and apprehensive about all at the same time. Leaving my girls is never fun but it will be nice to get back in the daily grind. If anything it will just be harder on Tony because now when he comes home, I will be at work so he will have to be the stay-at-home-dad and not be able to have any free time to unwind and relax from his job. He is such a great dad though and the girls LOVE to be with him and he with them. It all works out...

Good night all!

Emerson Quotes:
After she coughs "I needs some coffee".
"I want candy for breakfast, not cereal!"
"That smells yucky! Like Poop" (This was said loudly today in Target. Yippee!)
"Ellie is a messy baby. She's a messy, messy girl"! (Watching El eat her mashed peas).
"Turn down the wind mama!" (Air vents in our car)
"Hooray! We are at the popcorn store!" (Target)
"Ellie loves me 'cuz she's touching me!"

Elliot Quotes:
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Agggpppppfffffffffffffff"